Smart Ass Cripple

Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.

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Tuesday, June 30, 2026

Cripple Envy

Some people have a bad case of cripple envy. That’s when a person who isn’t the cripled is real jealous of those of us who are. And so the...

Monday, June 15, 2026

Hospice

By the time that this month is over. I will be 70 years old. And I have been cripled the whole time. Which will make me about 400 ln cripple...

Thursday, June 4, 2026

Bitter Old Cripples and Their Pet Pterodactyls

I am here to tell all of those who grew up watching Jonny Quest cartoons that not all cripples are bitter old men who live in mountain caves...

Saturday, May 30, 2026

Unemployed Little People

When I saw the movie Forrest Gump, I wondered who the actor was who played Lieutenant Dan. I was interested because he was a double-leg ampu...

Sunday, May 17, 2026

Walking Pneumonia

Not long ago, I had a conversation with a woman who uses a wheelchair and it changed my life. It turned my whole world upside down. I now fe...

Thursday, April 30, 2026

Guarantees in Life

You never know what you are going to encounter when you embark upon a new day. The other day I pulled up next to a car as we waited for a r...

Wednesday, April 22, 2026

Hell or Bust

When I first heard the song Stairway to Heaven, I thought it was a cool song. The lyrics didn’t make much sense to me, but it really rocked....

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About Me

Smart Ass Cripple: Smart ass cripple (Mike Ervin) is also known as America's Sweetheart.

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