Smart Ass Cripple

Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.

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Tuesday, September 30, 2025

Permission to Call me Cripple

If you are a steady reader of my stuff, then, by the power vested in me by me, I hereby give you my blessing to call me cripple. I figure i...

Sunday, September 14, 2025

Why I Never Cheer for Team U.S.A.

I never cheer for Team U.S.A. That’s curious because it’s not like I’m one of those guys who never gets sucked in by sports. I often wish I ...

Sunday, September 7, 2025

Small Town Cripples

It is indeed a very small town, population only about 1,500. But I could sense the presence of cripples all around me because there were bi...

Thursday, August 28, 2025

The Fun Enforcers

The woman ran up to me and said , “ Are you enjoying the park?" I said yes so she said, “Well , that’s good. And you know , we have a ...

Wednesday, August 13, 2025

Living on Borrowed Time

I know that I’m living on borrowed time. And I have my mother to thank for that . Because when I was but a wee criplet, my mother took me t...

Wednesday, July 30, 2025

Scouting Then and Now

If you can judge how far cripples have come by how the boy scouts treat us, it sure looks like cripples in the U.S.A have progressed a hellu...

Monday, July 21, 2025

Call me Smart Ass Weed

A lot of people have told me that they are offended by my use of the word cripple. But I am offended by the way euphemisms like physically c...

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About Me

Smart Ass Cripple: Smart ass cripple (Mike Ervin) is also known as America's Sweetheart.

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