Smart Ass Cripple

Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.

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Sunday, March 30, 2025

More Free Meals

When it comes to cripples who really know how to play their cards right when hustling up free meals, I can’t believe anyone does it better ...

Wednesday, March 19, 2025

My Daily Step Count

I recently read an article that made me feel like I’m surely going to die any day now. Reading that article was probably supposed to make m...

Monday, March 10, 2025

My Diagnosis (If You Really Wanna Know)

Often people get around to asking me what makes me crippled. I then say what I believe to be true. I don't take the opportunity to mak...

Friday, February 28, 2025

Free Meals

Another good thing about being crippled is that you get a lot of free meals out of the deal, if you play your cards right. It has happene...

Tuesday, February 11, 2025

The Association of Future Blind Cab Drivers

I used to think that those people who complain all the time about diversity were just a bunch of stupid whiners. Why were they so threate...

Friday, January 31, 2025

Faux Friends and Mentors

Way back when I was but a wee criplet, certain people came around because, they said, they wanted to be my friend. And those people really c...

Friday, January 24, 2025

Transactional Intimacy

Transactional intimacy. That sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? I mean, how can a relationship be both transactional and intimate at the s...

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About Me

Smart Ass Cripple: Smart ass cripple (Mike Ervin) is also known as America's Sweetheart.

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