Smart Ass Cripple

Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.

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Sunday, May 17, 2026

Walking Pneumonia

Not long ago, I had a conversation with a woman who uses a wheelchair and it changed my life. It turned my whole world upside down. I now fe...

Thursday, April 30, 2026

Guarantees in Life

You never know what you are going to encounter when you embark upon a new day. The other day I pulled up next to a car as we waited for a r...

Wednesday, April 22, 2026

Hell or Bust

When I first heard the song Stairway to Heaven, I thought it was a cool song. The lyrics didn’t make much sense to me, but it really rocked....

Monday, April 6, 2026

Excuses

I think that l’ve heard just about everything that there is to hear from people who park their vehicle in a space that’s supposed to be rese...

Saturday, March 21, 2026

Mold-a-rama

It used to be that if you roamed around the Museum of Science & Industry in Chicago you would occasionally come across a mold-a-rama ven...

Monday, March 9, 2026

Accessible (Bouncy) Houses

When I see those colorful, inflatable bouncy houses that people put up in their yards for kids’ parties, I feel sad. What makes me sad is...

Friday, February 27, 2026

House Calls

I'm pretty old, but even I don’t remember a day when doctors made house calls, like they often do on old television shows. I think that ...

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About Me

Smart Ass Cripple: Smart ass cripple (Mike Ervin) is also known as America's Sweetheart.

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