Smart Ass Cripple

Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.

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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Disorderly

I hate when people say I have a disease. To me the diseased are people who have stuff like bubonic plague. That ain’t me. Please don’t g...

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The Fabulous Flying Commode

Sometimes slogging through life as a cripple can be so disheartening that I just want to give up. I felt one such dark moment of resignati...

Friday, September 14, 2012

Where's the Keeper?

I know that facial expression quite well. I’ve seen it a million times. I see it every time a covey of cripples suddenly arrives. (Crippl...

Friday, September 7, 2012

Another Reason Why Walmart Blows

I was deep asleep. I woke up with a jolt. I heard a commotion. “Ma'am! MA'AM!” I figured out that I was in my van in Walmart par...

Saturday, September 1, 2012

The Elbow Macaroni Queen

Pierogi Fest. That’s what the celebratory sign said. That’s how you assert your culture within the dominant white culture. That’s how you ...

Monday, August 27, 2012

Impressionable Young Minds

Children are naturally inquisitive. So it’s perfectly logical that when they encounter a real live cripple, their curiosity will be piqued. ...

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Cruz Roja

Cripples should always wear clean underwear. Because sooner or later you’re going to find yourself in a Cruz Roja situation. A Cruz Roja s...

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About Me

Smart Ass Cripple: Smart ass cripple (Mike Ervin) is also known as America's Sweetheart.

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