Smart Ass Cripple

Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.

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Saturday, April 23, 2016

A Report on the Ponderings of the Distinguished Fellows of the Smart Ass Cripple Institute

Recently I convened the first official meeting of the distinguished fellows who are members of my think tank, the Smart Ass Cripple Institut...

Sunday, April 17, 2016

The Joy of Trespassing

Nothing beats the feeling of satisfaction and purpose that comes from being someplace you’re not supposed to be, doing something you’re not...

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Hope on Wheels

The Wounded Warriors Amputee football team is composed of amputee war veterans and they go around playing against fully-limbed former ath...

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Ward of the State

This happened back in the days when I still used the cripple dial-a-ride bus service, which seems like it was in the in the mid to late Pl...

Saturday, March 26, 2016

The Fountain of Stupidity

I’m about to turn 60 and here’s what I’m wondering: At what age does the average human no longer look back at where they were 10 or so year...

Sunday, March 20, 2016

To Lobster Boy from Drunken Frankenstein

Dear Lobster Boy, I hope you don’t mind me calling you that. I mean it as a term of endearment. I happened across an internet video o...

Sunday, March 13, 2016

DisNEYabled

It’s one of those dreadful realities of life that happens to everyone sooner or later. You wake up in the morning and find out you’ve been t...

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About Me

Smart Ass Cripple: Smart ass cripple (Mike Ervin) is also known as America's Sweetheart.

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