Smart Ass Cripple

Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.

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Wednesday, September 27, 2017

The Oppressor Eats a Hog

When you’re trying to resist the oppressor, it’s really fucking hard to just relax and have fun. Let’s s say the oppressor has dinner, oka...

Saturday, September 23, 2017

A New Book by Smart Ass Cripple!

ANNOUNCING: Smart Ass Cripple's Little Chartreuse Book. A new Smart Ass Cripple book hot off the presses at lulu.com. It still has tha...

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Lapping Jesus

There are some people who live such intense lifestyles that they are destined not to last very long, such as Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison and...

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Emerged

It’s a great time to be an “emerging” cripple. Available to you are many wonderful opportunities that have ships on the end—internships, sc...

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Fill in the Blank Awareness Month

It's easy to raise public "awareness" about some things. First, you pick a disease. Arthritis? Autism? Okay I know autism i...

Thursday, August 31, 2017

The Great Imperialist

Three young women stand huddled on the corner of State and Jackson in downtown Chicago. The middle one holds a cell phone. They all stare ...

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Kept

I have a hard time being a hardass with my dogs. I don’t even know what to call myself in relation to them. I sure as hell don’t want to ca...

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About Me

Smart Ass Cripple: Smart ass cripple (Mike Ervin) is also known as America's Sweetheart.

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