Smart Ass Cripple

Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.

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Sunday, May 28, 2023

Updating my Pit Crew Want Ad

I’m looking to hire someone to join my pit crew. That’s what I call the people who come to my home every day and help me do stuff like get o...

Friday, May 19, 2023

Until Life do us Part

Here’s what I know about those staunch pro-lifer types: Their bottom line is to get a federal law passed criminalizing abortion (and may...

Tuesday, May 9, 2023

Change?

I’ve talked before about how if one of my assistants goes out and about with me enough times, someone will inevitably refer to them as my ...

Thursday, April 27, 2023

Of Predators and Prey

There’s one thing that seems to make humans unique from other species of animals. As far as I can tell, humans are the only animals that s...

Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Down Syndrome Reveal Party

These days you can know what gender your future child will be before it is even born. And so some people throw one of those silly gender r...

Tuesday, April 11, 2023

Poppy Day

We don’t seem to have Poppy Day around here anymore. When I was a kid, it seemed like Poppy Day happened at least once a year, if not ...

Friday, March 31, 2023

A Certified Role Model

People sometimes tell me I’m a good role model for criplets. But I have a hard time seeing myself as a role model because I don’t really k...

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About Me

Smart Ass Cripple: Smart ass cripple (Mike Ervin) is also known as America's Sweetheart.

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