I
was rolling down the sidewalk. A homeless guy was camped out for the night in
front of the entrance of a closed store.
He
sat on a dirty blanket that was spread out on the ground, eating a hunk of chicken. When he looked up and saw me rolling by he held
out his food, as if to offer it to me, and he said, “You hungry?”
There
was a time when I would’ve been disturbed by that. Homeless people are almost
always very nice to me, even though I never give them money. It’s too much of a
pain in the ass for me to dig cash out of the leather pouch attached to the
side of my wheelchair so if they ask for money I just lie and say I don’t have
any.
For
some reason, a lot of homeless people call me “big guy” when I pass
them. “How ya doing, big guy?” They’re almost always eager to help me. One time
a homeless guy ran out in the street when he saw me coming, stopped traffic and
waved me across like a crossing guard, even though I didn’t need him to. All I
had to do was wait for the light to change.
Sometimes
homeless people ask everyone else who passes them for money but they don't ask me. I used
to be insulted by that. It used make me feel like demanding that they ask me
for money too, even though I’d lie and say I didn’t have any if they did. Or it
made me feel like I should flash two hundred bucks at them, just to teach that
presumptuous homeless person that not all cripples are even more broke ass than
they are.
But
that was stupid of me to feel that way. Why should I assume that if a homeless
guy tries to give me his food, it’s because he thinks I’m pathetic? I guess
it’s because that’s what cripples are used to. We can become jaded because
we’re bombarded by the fake generosity of charity, where people give because
they see a cripple and think, “There but for the grace of God go I!” In other
words, pity.
That’s
probably why I assumed that when a homeless person tries to help me, it’s
because they think I’m pathetic. But when I try to help them, it’s not because
I think they’re pathetic. The people I think are pathetic are the Young
Republicans.
So
maybe when the homeless guy offered me his chicken, what he felt was
empathy. Maybe he saw me as a brother who’s left out, too. What’s his is mine.
So when the homeless guy offered me his chicken, I decided to take it as a gesture of solidarity. I
just said, “Thanks, man. I’m good.”
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