Smart Ass Cripple

Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.

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Monday, June 30, 2025

Cheerleader Syndrome

I saw some cheerleaders doing their cheerleading thing. And among them were a couple of cripples in wheelchairs. And these cripples were d...

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

Harnessing the Power of the Crippled Protester

If you’ve got a hankerin’ to organize a protest march (and who doesn’t these days?), here’s a tip: recruit as many cripples as you can and p...

Friday, June 13, 2025

I'll Give You Something to Stare At

I’ve often heard people who aren’t crippled say that they think that the worst part about being crippled must be dealing with all of the ign...

Tuesday, June 3, 2025

Good News for Lepers

I recently looked up leprosy to see if there ever really was such a thing. I started to wonder if maybe the infamous lepers in the Bible wer...

Thursday, May 22, 2025

The Miracle of Farting

If it wasn’t for farts, I’d probably be a staunch atheist. Because I find the concept of God to be rather silly. And maybe that’s because ...

Friday, May 9, 2025

Boy, Was I Crippled

I was srtrolling down the sidewalk one fine summer day when I heard a voice from behind me cry out, "Hey cripple!" At first I ig...

Wednesday, April 30, 2025

Cripples in Television Commercials

If any pharmaceutical company finds a cure or an effective treatment for that which makes me crippled and they decide that they want to make...

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About Me

Smart Ass Cripple: Smart ass cripple (Mike Ervin) is also known as America's Sweetheart.

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