Smart Ass Cripple

Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.

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Tuesday, November 12, 2024

The Rules of the Game

Sometimes I wonder if some parts of me cancel out other parts of me. Like for instance, I’m a Caucasian male, right? You’d think that wo...

Thursday, October 31, 2024

The Giant Neon Stereotype

After spending one night in Asheville, North Carolina, I felt closer to Jesus. It all happened because I am arbitrarily allergic to cats...

Monday, October 21, 2024

No Ordinary Cripple

The traffic noise at the busy intersection was quite loud, so I couldn’t hear everything that the voice coming from behind me was saying. ...

Tuesday, October 8, 2024

Sometimes Awareness Really Sucks

I watched the movie The Wizard of Oz again for the nine millionth time. That was probably the most influential movie of my childhood, as...

Sunday, September 29, 2024

Morally Inconsistent

Maybe I should be out there trying to get pregnant women to drink lots of alcohol. That way there would probably be more babies born cripp...

Saturday, September 21, 2024

Not a Cripple-Friendly Town

As I drifted around the grocery store that was far away from home, I kept getting dirty looks. But all I was doing was minding my own busine...

Wednesday, September 11, 2024

A Fate Worse Than Being Fat

It seems that researchers have found that a popular weight-loss drug may cause blindness. Normally, that kind of news would mean cur...

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About Me

Smart Ass Cripple: Smart ass cripple (Mike Ervin) is also known as America's Sweetheart.

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