Smart Ass Cripple

Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.

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Monday, April 6, 2026

Excuses

I think that l’ve heard just about everything that there is to hear from people who park their vehicle in a space that’s supposed to be rese...

Saturday, March 21, 2026

Mold-a-rama

It used to be that if you roamed around the Museum of Science & Industry in Chicago you would occasionally come across a mold-a-rama ven...

Monday, March 9, 2026

Accessible (Bouncy) Houses

When I see those colorful, inflatable bouncy houses that people put up in their yards for kids’ parties, I feel sad. What makes me sad is...

Friday, February 27, 2026

House Calls

I'm pretty old, but even I don’t remember a day when doctors made house calls, like they often do on old television shows. I think that ...

Monday, February 16, 2026

Dignity

The protagonist in the television commercial was a man who appeared to be a senior citizen.He stood in a bathroom and forlornly told the au...

Wednesday, February 4, 2026

The Cripple Olympics

As soon as the regular Olympics end, the cripple Olympics begin. Thus, Smart Ass Cripple has been embedded for the last several months with ...

Saturday, January 24, 2026

Sentience

Sometimes I find myself pondering a deep philosophical question: are my dogs sentient beings? It all depends on which definition of sentien...

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About Me

Smart Ass Cripple: Smart ass cripple (Mike Ervin) is also known as America's Sweetheart.

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