I went to a support group meeting for
cripples. A new guy limped in. He clanged when he walked because his right foot
was stuck in a bucket.
Even all us cripples couldn’t help but
stare at him and some even snickered. But the new guy just kept walking
straight on in and sat in a chair. He propped his right foot up on a stool in
front of him.
The facilitator of our group said, “I’d
like everyone to welcome our visitor, Bucket Foot Bob.”
Bucket Foot Bob jumped right in and said,
“Actually, my name is Maurice. But you can call me Bucket Foot Bob if you want
to. Why not? Everybody else does. I used to hate that name but now I’m trying
to learn to embrace it.”
Bucket Foot Bob continued. “Because as
you can see, my foot is stuck in a bucket. I don’t know how it happened. One
night I got blackout drunk and when I woke up in the morning, there it was. And
having my foot stuck in a bucket has cost me dearly in life. I have been the
victim of much discrimination. I lost my job. My boss told me that my clanging
around the office was too distracting for my coworkers. My wife left me. She
said I wasn’t the same man she married anymore, what with my foot stuck in a
bucket and all. My landlord evicted me because the people in the apartment
below mine complained that I made too much noise when I walked.”
As I listened to Bucket Foot Bob’s sad
story, I felt real sorry for him, but I wondered why he didn’t just have the
bucket removed.
And then Bucket Foot Bob said, “You’re
probably wondering why I don’t just have the bucket removed. Well, don’t you
think I’ve tried that? I mean, my foot is really jammed in there good. I’ve
tried everything to get it out. I’ve tried crow bars. I’ve tried lard. But my
foot won’t budge.
“My only option is to have it surgically
removed. But that operation costs $10,000. I have health insurance, but it
doesn’t cover bucket removal. Maybe someday we’ll have socialized medicine in
this country and I’ll be able to have my bucket removed, no cost and no
questions asked. But until then, I’m stuck, no pun intended.”
Bucket Foot Bob said, “So that’s why I’m
here. I’m looking for a community of like-minded people who will welcome me as
one of their own. I used to be embarrassed by my bucket but now I’m rather
proud of it. It’s part of who I am. It doesn’t dehumanize me. It humanizes me.
It makes a statement that says, ‘Yes, I’m a slapstick klutz. But isn’t
everyone?’ And so, my brothers and sisters, I hope you will accept me into your
tribe.”
The facilitator said, “I move that we
accept Bucket Foot Bob into our group! All in favor say aye!
Aye!
The vote was unanimous!
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