I must say that at first, I
felt a joyous sense of historical vindication when I saw professional Cornhole
being played on a national sports television network. This meant that the
activity of tossing beanbags into holes for points was now being recognized as legitimate
by the mainstream culture. And that meant that, by extension, cripples were also
being recognized as legitimate by the mainstream culture.
Because there was a time
when tossing a beanbag was something only cripples spent a lot of time doing. As
a criplet, I tossed a lot of beanbags
into holes on boards, like Cornhole, or into garbage cans or whatever. I feel
stupid now that I thought it was kind of fun at the time, when, in fact, it was
a useless activity. It seemed destined to always be a resoundingly unmarketable
skill, no matter how zealously I developed it. It was indicative of the low
expectations placed on cripples.
I never dreamed that I’d see
the day when tossing beanbags would be looked upon as cool enough to be covered
by a national sports television network. I never dreamed that if I played my
cards right, I might someday land a million-dollar beanbag endorsement deal. I never dreamed that tossing beanbags might
someday make me a chick magnet.
But then I noticed that none
of the people playing Cornhole on television were crippled. So I wondered if this was really just a matter
of cultural appropriation. Because there’s a thin line between cultural
appropriation and being recognized as legitimate by mainstream culture. Cultural
appropriation is when the mainstream culture steals something that someone else
created and pretends that they are the ones who thought it up. Why do we need
the recognition of mainstream culture to feel validated? It’s like busting your
ass day in and day out trying to win your father’s approval. It’s such a relief
when you finally give up trying to do that and say to yourself, “Screw it. I’m cool
whether he says so or not.”
That’s when my joyous sense
of historical vindication went away. So now I’m thinking, “Fuck you, mainstream
culture! Who needs you?
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