Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Suzy and Einstein: A Libertarian Success Story

Suzy Sham is a true libertarian success story. She is living proof that the Texas Teach a Handicapped Man to Fish Act is legislation that really works.

The Teach a Handicapped Man to Fish Act was passed by the Texas legislature to inspire broke ass cripples in Texas who were living off public programs to get off their duffs and pursue the American dream. This law took a tough love approach. All public programs serving broke ass cripples were terminated. And instead all the cripples on those programs received a mule.

Why a mule? Because mules are symbols of the American dream. Mules are synonymous with hard work. Many great corporations began with just an enterprising man and his mule. And so the idea was to free these broke ass cripples from the paralysis of their victimized mindsets, to challenge them to find creative ways to use their mules to help them build lives of economic self-sufficiency.

Well of course all the broke ass cripples bitched and protested and protested and bitched. But not Suzy. She seized the opportunity and with the help of her mule she went from being just another broke ass cripple living in public housing to being a successful business woman with a luxury condo in Vegas and a summer home in Aspen.

But things started out rocky to say the least for Suzy and her mule. When the dumb-looking creature was delivered to her home, all she could do was sit there in her wheelchair and cry. She cried and cried for three days until finally the mule said, “I’m sorry you’re so sad, Suzy.” The sobbing abruptly stopped. Suzy looked her mule in the eye. “You can talk?” she said. “Yep,” said the mule. “And I’m the only talking mule in the whole wide world.”

Suzy yelped with joy. Her pupils turned into dollar signs. She kissed the mule on his smelly old snout. Since this was the smartest mule ever, Suzy named him Einstein. Suzy and Einstein worked up a stage act. Suzy contacted a talent agency.

And today Suzy Sham and Her Talking Mule are the hottest act in Vegas. It always brings down the house when Suzy plays the ukulele while Einstein sings Moon River.

So whenever the cripples bitch and protest and demand their public programs back, the Texas legislature trots out the story of Suzy and Einstein. Suzy is a shining example of someone who didn’t let being handicapped stop her from going out there and claiming her piece of the American dream!

If she can do it, everybody can!

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  1. Great for Suzy… But what about all those cripples who got MUTE mules? And don't they get the 40 acres?

  2. A very thought provoking anecdote--thanks for sharing. I am a future teacher currently taking my Bachelor of Education at StFX University in Nova Scotia, Canada. As someone who will one day work with physically and mentally challenged students, I loved reading some of the articles on your blog. If you're interested, we would love to have you correspond with some of our classes to share some of your experiences. You can contact our professor at bmwebi@stfx.ca. Thanks!

  3. Hi J.D. Power and Associates,

    Kelly and Bridget here! We are currently taking our Bachelor of Education at St.FX and this blog has provided us with some great insight as future teachers!

    We particularly like how this story portrays the analogy of how impossible it is or can be for people with physical or mental challenges to achieve the american dream in the society we are living in today. The expectation with our society and government policies seem to be based on something that may have worked for one person, and they expect it to work for all individuals. The mules represent how ridiculous and unrealistic some of the policies are and how something magical like a talking mule will have to occur in order for anything good to come of them.

    Your blog is an inspiration for people to view the world in a different perspective and critically analyze what we consider to be the 'norm'. You have inspired us to change how we see the 'norm' to create a more inclusive and realistic society - one person at a time.

  4. Hello,
    We are BEd students at St. Francis Xavier University in Nova Scotia, Canada. We are exploring different resources about inclusion and particularly people who live with a disability. That is how we reached your blog. We find your humor very attention grabbing. Your derogatory way of writing is something that will get people talking and aware, which is so important. We understand that some people may find offense to your pieces if they are not looking deep into the sarcasm and meaning of your writing. We appreciate you standing up and voicing opinions that need to be heard. We are wondering if you ever do public speaking, or consider it? The more people that are exposed to these issues have the opportunity to discuss and spread the knowledge and awareness. Speeches would be a powerful conversation starter. We are wondering if you live with a disability, or have loved ones who do? We would love to hear insight to the struggles from the public that would be dealt with. Being able bodies, we have no idea the true difficulties that are faced everyday and feel the more we know the more we can help others and be inclusive. We are trying to become the best teachers we can be and hope that you can share your knowledge.
    Kind regards,
    Rebecca and Colin