I hear that in the days of
U.S. slavery, working inside of the house was considered by slaves to be
the cushiest of assignments. I guess
they thought that fixing meals and making beds was better than toiling in the
fields in the hot sun any old day.
But what about if the master was crippled like
me? I wonder if that meant that all bets were off. Because some of the indoor
slaves would have been assigned to be members of the master’s pit crew, which
is what I call the crew of people I hire to help me get dressed and in and out
of bed and help do all of the necessary stuff I can’t do for myself.
This would mean that the job
description of the pit crew slaves would include wiping the master’s ass, as
needed. Because that’s one of the things that my pit crew members have to do for
me, as needed.
And I know that some people
think ass wiping is the dirtiest job in the world. There was a guy I hired to
be on my pit crew many years ago. He was from Cambodia and when I interviewed
him for the job he regaled me with accounts of how he escaped the murderous
dictatorship there by fleeing through the jungle and dodging wild animals. I
figured that this guy must be pretty resilient, so I hired him. But he only
lasted about a week on my pit crew because he couldn’t handle the ass wiping part.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he high tailed it back to Cambodia.
So it makes me wonder if
some of the slaves would have preferred to stay out in the fields rather than
go inside and be on the master’s pit crew. And besides, if you didn’t wipe the
master’s ass just right, you might get whipped for it. How embarrassing would
that be?
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