Transactional Intimacy

Transactional intimacy. That sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? I mean,

how can a relationship be both transactional and intimate at the same time?

A transactional relationship is all  business. And an intimate

relationship is, well, it’s just the opposite.

But that’s exactly the type of relationship that I have with the members of my pit crew, which is what I call the people that I have hired to come to my home every day and help me do all of the stuff that everyone has to do every day, such as getting in and  out of bed and getting dressed. The state pays them to help me so this is their job and my home is their workplace So in that sense, it is a business relationship.

But I often joke with them that this is the type of job where you may see your boss naked on your first day on the job. Because when they come in to get me out of bed, the first thing that they are likely to see when they uncover me will be my bare ass. I may even involuntarily entertain them with a medley of my farts– - there’s the creaky door fart, the foghorn fart and the motor boat fart. I got a million of ‘em!  I have great versatility when it comes to farting. But, sadly, I can't summon up any of them at will. They just come out randomly, and at the damndest times.  (I probably should say that I “subject them to” rather than “entertain them with” a medley of my farts. Because I think when you call something entertainment, that implies that it’s something that’s worth paying money for. And no sane person would ever pay money for that!)

And when they put me on the crapper, they’ll eventually have to wipe my butt, too.

Can you get more intimate than all of that?

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