Cripple Envy

Some people have a bad case of cripple envy. That’s when a person who isn’t the cripled is real jealous of those of us who are. And so they wish that they were crippled, too, because they think that cripples get all kinds of great privileges in life. Now it’s true that being crippled does come with what some might perceive to be privileges. All of the best parking spaces are supposed to be reserved for us and we usually get a pass when it comes to going to church or being drafted into the military. And we don’t have to stand for the national anthem. But we also have to deal with a lot of unnecessary b,s. And if you want to be a cripple, you can’t just pick and choose. That means that you have to take on the b.s., too. I think about cripple envy whenever I see a billboard or television commercial advertising a personal injury attorney. They promise you that, with their professional assistance, you can become rich beyond your wildest dreams. But first you have to survive a terrible accident, the more terrible the better. And the worse your injuries, the better. I wonder if this makes anyone jealous. I wonder how many of them would sign up for a scheme to get rich that required them to go out and get hit by a bus, first. By the same token, the people who have a bad case of cripple envy can soon be enjoying all of the primo parking that they will ever need plus an exemption from going to church, being drafted into the military, standing for the national anthem and all of the glorious privileges that our society bestows upon the crippled. All that they have to do is go out and get hit by a bus, first.