The horror stories have been going around for years. I’m sure you’ve heard them. The New York Times was ranting about it a few weeks back.
It all starts with unscrupulous lawyers. They recruit cripples to be plaintiffs in lawsuits suing small businesses for being inaccessible under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Maybe the business has no ramp or too steep of a ramp or a counter or shelf that’s too high. Then the case gets settled. The lawyers collect fees and then they pay the cripple a fee for their time. The Times says a couple lawyers have filed more than 300 suits in the last three years in New York alone. And some cripples have built a cottage industry out of being repeat plaintiffs.
When I read about my fellow cripples teaming up with unscrupulous lawyers to behave in this manner, it really pisses me off. Why can’t I find an unscrupulous lawyer to team up with me? I mean, I live in Chicago, dammit. You can’t swing a dead cat by the tail around here without hitting an unscrupulous lawyer.
Maybe the hard part is finding a lawyer who’s both unscrupulous and not very smart. Because lawyers who think they’re going to get filthy rich by just filing ADA lawsuits can’t be very smart. The first rule of successful gold digging is to dig where there is gold. They’d do much better working for the other side.
But surely there’s an unscrupulous lawyer out there who’s a perfect match for me. All I need is one. We’ll be the dream team. I’m anxious to fight discrimination because, sadly, I’m one of those Act-of-God cripples. I was born this way. I wasn’t fortunate enough to be hit by a bus or maimed by a faulty corkscrew. There’s no one I can sue. So the only way I can get restitution is by suing for discrimination.
When I read about my fellow cripples teaming up with unscrupulous lawyers, it causes me to reflect. I’ve discovered there’s one thing I really don’t like about myself. I don’t sue enough. The ADA was signed 22 years ago and I pass establishments every day that I can’t access because there are steps on the front or whatever. And what do I do about it? Squat! Jack Squat! Fortunately, this is a character flaw that is well within my power to change. All it will take is some will power and an unscrupulous lawyer.
I know my litigiousness will fire up the critics. This makes a mockery of the spirit of the ADA, they’ll say. When Congress passed a law granting cripples the right to go out and sue for discrimination, the last thing Congress intended was for cripples to go out and sue for discrimination.
They miss the good old days, when cripples stayed home and sat on their scruples.
If the lawyers did get you access it would be one thing but a few years back they came through TN and NO WHere they sued did much. I had to threaten "My Lawyer" when I would not sign a useless sertlement agreement. Basically they did not improve access they were offering to cut what was there significantly. I finally had to write to the court asking for protection from my lawyer. That ended my involvement. We do not need to be a way for someone to earn fair money and NOT get anything out of it. My name got used, and until then I did not have a copy of the inspection report that time I did.
ReplyDeleteCripples have just as much right to attempt to rip people off as everyone else does.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I have a rare blood disorder. I wonder if an unscrupulous lawyer would be interested in me. I got cool stuff to . . . I mean I have bills to pay.
ReplyDeleteI say hellz yea, start to sue! Maybe the perfect combination would be an unscrupulous lawyer that is crippled? Ever considered law school?
ReplyDeleteI wish I had the formal education to start with. Hard to go on to college with a 5th grade level education due to institutionalization. But I think your right though that somebody in a chair would have to be more empathetic. If you come across one please refer him or her to me please.
DeleteOh, so MANY times I have considered screwing, er, I mean sueing all over Seattle. STILL the ADA is tosssed aside---I could be stinking rich. I have already done my part OVER YEARS of talking with property owb=ners, company owners, hospitals; I have mailed them info on how to make it complient--OH YEAH, I am a lawyers dream $$$...as my SSDI continues to cover less and less of my 24/7 care...I'm IN!
ReplyDeleteOh, and I think hitting them in the billfold is the ONLY way to make change happen. Only my THREATS got access doors at my city job office buildings, my flex time, and now everyone wins. I never HAD to go as far as courts, but I think (I have been out of the ADA advocate/activist loop for awhile, but feeling frisky lately) that what I have seen around my big city recently deserves some legal ACTION. And I WOULD include that something BE DONE or I sue again...and again...and...
ReplyDeleteI love the ads that are coming up by the side of this post:
ReplyDeleteCan I sue? Free evaluation from our attorney!
But seriously, that's a great idea. Go sue!
Somehow the NYT article failed to mention that litigation is the only mechanism by which the ADA can be enforced. That seems like a pretty critical point.
ReplyDeleteMike -
ReplyDeletePLEASE make your website interface more user friendly!!! I spent over 45 minutes this morning trying to make a donation and finally had to give up! It wanted me to confirm my donation, then it removed all my information, then it decided that i had to use Pay Pal (which required me to hunt up my Pay Pal account) - they didn't like the password, so i made up a new one - then it told me this was actually the original one and it couldn't be used! Then PayPal decided i had a limit on what i could spend, so please link it to a new card! So, i tried to link it to my AMEX and PayPal decided i couldn't use that one - no reason given.
I was forced to give up, for which I am very sorry. I wonder how many donations have been lost because of computerized craziness. You see, we are ALL technology dependent!
Keep up the good work - I'm an Illinois resident as well, and the state will retroactively cut my health care benefits starting July 1, but won't tell me how much or what the algorithm will be......Sigh.....
I think you should sue God. Or maybe organizations that claim to be his/her/its earthly representatives. I mean, you say God caused your crippleness, right?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could even make it a class action suit. I was born nearsighted with a genetic predisposition to fatness and heart attacks. Ann Romney has MS, although that may be a result of her husband doing Satan's work (as a Republican). Anyway, lots of defective people around.
I must have missed something ... God causes disabilities?
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