The Huwoman Race

Sometimes I wonder if curing polio was such a good thing for cripples. I mean for cripples individually, of course it was a good thing. But in terms of political strategy, I’m not so sure. It plays right into the hands of the supremacists.

If polio was still out there running around biting people in the ass, cripples would probably be running the world by now. Think of how many more millions of us there would be. It’s a matter of sheer volume. There would be too many of us to ignore, sort of like insects.

The prospect of cripples running the world will surely freak some people out beyond all end. I'm talking about those wacky supremacists again. Just about any shift in the tide freaks them out. I guess the supremacists assume that anybody who acquires a little power will act like the supremacists do.

Gay people getting married freaks them out because I guess they assume that once we open that door then someday soon the only kind of marriage that will be allowed will be gay marriage. Because whenever a group gains power they use it to assert their supremacy. That’s the whole point of having power.

The supremacists also freak out whenever a new mosque pops up. There’s a hospital around here called Christ hospital. When you call there you hear a recorded greeting in four languages: English, Spanish, Polish and Arabic. I bet that Arabic really freaks out certain supremacists. They can see that dark day coming soon when Christ hospital will become Allah hospital and the only medicine they will practice will be voodoo.

If the Indians take charge they’ll immediately change the name of the Washington football team to the Washington Trailer Trash and the logo will be a toothless hillbilly. And if women take over, that will really fuck things up royally because a strong and assertive woman = a dominatrix. We’ll all have to refer to ourselves as the huwoman race.

And if the cripples take over, look out. In this dystopia, everyone will be required to have a bathroom that’s as big as a dance hall and with those ugly monkey bars bolted to the wall around the toilet to boot. And this will be enforced by UN soldiers wearing blue helmets. Nothing shoots the hell out of property values like UN soldiers and ugly monkey bars.

So the supremacists ought to be damn grateful that polio was cured



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