My Brother in Bathroom Exclusion

I was heading down a secluded ramp on a public thoroughfare when I encountered a great big pile of shit in the middle of the ramp. It was a very enlightening experience.

Because I couldn’t go any further without rolling through shit and the ramp was too narrow for me to turn around so I had to drive backwards up the incline I just descended. Of course I was pissed. But at first I was pissed at whoever was responsible for taking that shit. And there was no doubt that it was the work of species homo sapiens sapiens because not only were the turds human-size but the pile rested atop several neatly arranged sheets of newspaper. This was proof of premeditation. I wanted to call the cops and demand that a turd be sent to forensics so the DNA data base could be used to identify and apprehend the perpetrator and bring them to justice!

But after having some time to reflect, I realized my pissed offedness was grossly misplaced. The person who took this dump was probably some poor sap who had nowhere else to take a dump. They were probably shooed from all the nearby restaurants and everywhere else because they weren’t a “paying customer” or that kind of thing. They were probably turned away from place to place, like the Virgin Mary. They were probably told, “You can’t take a shit here until you get off drugs and get a job first!”

I should know all about that kind of stuff because I’ve peed in many an alley myself. Lots of times my wheelchair won’t fit in bathrooms and I can only hold it for long. So I look for a dark corner the nearest alley.

So here I was blaming my brother in bathroom exclusion instead of blaming the system. I lost sight of one of the most fundamental things all humans share in common: When ya gotta go ya gotta go.


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