Another
reason I know I’m not no way no how one of those cripples who “overcomes” is
because there’s a certain Mt. Everest element to it all. And that ain’t me.
Because
what drives a person to climb Mt. Everest is a spirit of conquest. You do it
just for the sake of doing it. But I say screw Mt. Everest. It not like when you get to the top there’s a
pot of gold or the gift of eternal life or anything like that waiting for you.
All that’s on top of Mt. Everest is a lot of snow and, I imagine, an awesome
view. But climbing Mt. Everest doesn’t sound like fun to me because it’s too
goddam cold. You have to wear three parkas to stay warm on Mt. Everest and I
don’t know about you but it’s pretty near impossible for me to have fun while
wearing a single parka, let alone three.
Overcomer
cripples, at least as depicted in the movies and on the news and stuff, are
filled with that same Mt. Everest spirit of conquest. They dramatically rise
from their wheelchairs and walk haltingly across the stage to receive their diploma or down the aisle to get married or whatever. You know
the drill.
To
illustrate my point, please allow me to use the quest for beer as a metaphor for my life. There’s
a bar across the street from me that has three steps on the front, which makes
it like Mt. Everest to me. It beckons me to conquer it. But I’ve never even
tried to go inside. Now an overcomer cripple would’ve tried to go inside long
ago, even if it meant getting out or their wheelchair and painstakingly scooting
up the steps one by one, because they would be motivated by the Mt. Everest spirit
of conquest. They’d want to do it just for the sake of doing it. But my
motivation for going into the bar across the street would be beer. And
fortunately for me, there are plenty of other places around here where I can get
beer with going through all that conquest pain in the ass stuff. So why do it
the hard way? I guess that makes me more of a navigator cripple, trying to get
a beer (so to speak) with the least amount of overcoming.
Oh sure,
there are times when I feel a strong urge to conquer the bar across the
street. But I’d be more inclined to do
so in the form of a lawsuit or something like that. I’d be driven by a desire
to assert my right to not drink their beer by choice.
So I’ll probably
never be motivated to climb Mt. Everest, unless, for some weird reason, it ends
up being the only place on earth where there’s beer.
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