Back when I was in college, about 45
years ago, my roommate told me he’d met a couple of guys who had a new and
unique way of getting high and he invited them to come over so he could get
high with them. He said I could join them if I wanted to.
A few days later, two guys who were about
in their early 20s or so, like us, arrived toting something that looked like
an oxygen tank. It turned out it was full of laughing gas.
I didn’t know there really was such a
thing as laughing gas. I thought it was just some fictional device that mostly
appeared in comic strips. But I guess it was a euphemistic name for an anesthetic
used by dentists, at least at the time.
And I didn’t know how these guys managed to
score a tank of laughing gas. Were there pushers in dark alleys who dealt such
wares? Or maybe one of them had a parent or uncle or somebody in their life who
was a dentist and they swiped a tank of laughing gas from their office.
Anyway, this opportunity was too unique
to pass up so I sat in a circle in my living room with my roommate and those
two other guys and the tank of laughing gas was in the center of the circle
between us all. And we took turns
inhaling the laughing gas and every once in a while somebody would burst out
laughing out of the blue.
I don’t remember laughing or even being
moved to laugh. And I never did laughing gas again. That’s ironic because I’ve
spent a lot of my life since then seeking out laughs. Except I use more natural
and organic sources to make me laugh, like reading Mark Twain or watching stuff
like the Marx Brothers, Monty Python, the Three Stooges or a Mel Brooks movie.
And speaking of the
Stooges, there’s a particularly hilarious episode where they accidentally end
up in the army and on the battlefield a bomb that says LAUGHING GAS on it
explodes near them. They’re all laughing their asses of off as the Nazis take
them prisoner and take them to their headquarters. And at the headquarters the
Stooges keep laughing their asses off as they beat the shit out of the Nazis.
Wouldn’t it be
great if we really could weaponize laughing gas like that? You fire one of
those missiles at your enemies and they laugh their asses off. And nobody can
fight because they’re laughing too hard. Make jokes not war.
The world sure
would be a better place if that’s how we fought wars. Whoever invented a
laughing gas bomb would surely win the Nobel Peace Prize.
(Please support Smart Ass Cripple and help us carry on. Just click below to contribute.)
