That Brisk Day When Cripple Oppression in America Officially Came to an End

Apparently there once was a time, long long ago, when cripples were treated rather poorly in this country. I know it’s hard to believe but it really is true. I double checked the facts just to be sure.

It seems that back in those dark days cripples were so disregarded and devalued that many of them were locked up in institutions. Cripples had a real hard time getting jobs back then. And they couldn’t get into a lot of buildings because the entrances had steps and stuff like that.

But that all ended on March 4, 1933 at noon, to be precise. That was the day we inaugurated a crippled president. And that’s how we know in America when a previously oppressed sector of the citizenry is officially no longer oppressed. When a single member of that sector rises to the pinnacle, it proves that all the old barriers to advancement no longer exist.

We learned this on January 20, 2009, when, for the first time, we inaugurated somebody besides a white man. That was the day racism ended. The racists, realizing they were licked, packed up and went home. The KKK threw in the towel. And so now we know that with all the obstacles eliminated, those from that sector who can’t similarly transcend their circumstances are probably just too damn lazy.

But it’s a funny thing though. The last time I checked, I do believe there were still some institutionalized cripples. And, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there’s still a cripple or two without a job. And I could swear that right down the street from me is a pizza place that I’ve never gone into because the entrance has three steps.

How could this be the case when the era of cripple oppression in America abruptly ended on a brisk afternoon more than 80 years ago? There’s only one possible explanation. The reason the entrance of that pizza place right down the street has three steps is because I’m just too damn lazy.



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