Congratulations Muslims?

It’s hard to say what I feel. I think what I feel is envy. But it’s not really envy because envy is when somebody has something you wish you had. But in this case, I already have what the object of my envy has but nobody can see that I have it and that’s the part that’s making me envious, or whatever the right word is. And I don’t even want this thing I have that I want everybody to notice that I have. In fact I want to get rid of it but I can’t get rid of it until people that don’t have this thing that I have and want to get rid of notice that I have it. And that’s what’s frustrating. So what I’m feeling is probably not envy, per se. So then what is it? It certainly is something.

This is all the fault of the Pew Research Center. They just did a survey about different groups of Americans that are being fucked over. They didn’t call it that. They called it discrimination. But I don’t like that word. It’s way too soft to describe the offense. And discrimination isn’t always a bad thing. People with discriminating tastes are considered to be sophisticated and refined. So I prefer calling it what it is, which is being fucked over.

But anyway, Pew Research surveyed 1,502 adults and from that determined that 82 percent of Americans believe Muslims face discrimination in the United States and 57 percent of Americans believe Muslims face "a lot" of discrimination. Black people and gays and lesbians tied for second at 76 percent followed by Hispanics at 70 percent and women at 60 percent.

And just where did cripples finish in this sad race? We finished worse than dead last because we weren’t even entered into the Fucked Over Derby. Apparently we didn’t make the cut when it comes to being fucked over in the eyes of Pew.

I don’t know what to say about all this. Congratulations Muslims, I guess? Don’t get me wrong. I don’t begrudge them the distinction of most fucked over. Lord knows they’ve earned it. But I feel like I’m sitting at a bar frantically waving my arms and the bartender keeps passing me by. What the hell does a guy have to do to get attention at this joint?

In this case, the metaphorical bartender is Pew and the uncrippled majority at large. Because it’s easy to say, “Oh who cares what anybody else thinks. Cripples know we’re being fucked over. That’s all that matters.” But the truth is that you’re not really officially being fucked over in this country until those who aren’t being fucked over in the same manner acknowledge that you’re being fucked over.

So I guess cripples will just have to work harder. I don’t mean work harder at being fucked over. That happens naturally. No effort required. We’ll have to work harder to make sure people besides us notice.




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