Yes, this was a long time ago. It was back in the days when
there were big stores like Sears that had departments where they sold record
albums.
Anyway, I noticed there was some kind of hubbub going on in
the corner of the record department. A crowd of people gathered and they were
all paying rapt attention to someone. I couldn’t see who the center of attention was or what was
going on because everyone in the crowd was standing and I was sitting down. So
I worked my wheelchair over that way and inched my way through the crowd. “Excuse me.
Coming through. Excuse me, please.”
Eventually I worked my way to the front of the crowd
and I saw that the person they were all paying attention to was Barbi Benton
Yes, this was a long time ago. It was back in the days when
Barbi Benton was famous for being Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend and for having big
boobs, in that order. I say that because whereas her boobs were indeed
noteworthy, they weren’t enough to propel her to such heights of fame unto
themselves. They needed that extra boost of credibility they received from
Hugh’s thumbs up.
It appeared that Barbi was in the record department to plug
her new album. Because she sat on a high stool holding a microphone and several
album covers with her picture on them were on display around her. I had no idea she could
sing. I thought the only thing she wrote on her tax return as an occupation was
Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend.
But anyway, the women in the crowd standing next to me shouted out, “Hey,
Barbi, look!” She pointed down at the
top of my head. Barbi just said “Hi,” to me but the look on her face said, “Oh
shit! That’s not one of those Make-a-Wish kids , is it? Why didn’t anybody warn
me about this? They’re supposed to clear this kind of thing through my publicist!
This is an ambush! Wait til I see that publicist of mine! I’ll wring his neck!”
I said “Hi” back to Barbi. I don’t know what kind of look I had
on my face, but here’s what I was thinking: “Oh shit! She thinks I’m a Make-a-Wish
kid! I gotta get the hell out of here!”
So I spun my wheelchair around and got the hell out of
there.
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Dude I mean like at least you've got to see her boobs. And after all isn't that the most important thing? F*** I have totally given up on people. The bigotry the ignorance the stigma. Forget about being treated like an actual person and on top things like actually being a man. We're just another shiny f****** object and that's it
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