Friday, November 26, 2021

The Look on Barbi Benton's Face


 I was browsing through the record department of a big store like Sears.

Yes, this was a long time ago. It was back in the days when there were big stores like Sears that had departments where they sold record albums.

Anyway, I noticed there was some kind of hubbub going on in the corner of the record department. A crowd of people gathered and they were all paying rapt attention to someone. I couldn’t see who the center of attention was or what was going on because everyone in the crowd was standing and I was sitting down. So I worked my wheelchair over that way and inched my way through the crowd. “Excuse me. Coming through. Excuse me, please.”

Eventually I worked my way to the front of the crowd and I saw that the person they were all paying attention to was Barbi Benton

Yes, this was a long time ago. It was back in the days when Barbi Benton was famous for being Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend and for having big boobs, in that order. I say that because whereas her boobs were indeed noteworthy, they weren’t enough to propel her to such heights of fame unto themselves. They needed that extra boost of credibility they received from Hugh’s thumbs up.

It appeared that Barbi was in the record department to plug her new album. Because she sat on a high stool holding a microphone and several album covers with her picture on them were on display around her. I had no idea she could sing. I thought the only thing she wrote on her tax return as an occupation was Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend.

But anyway, the women in the crowd standing next to me shouted out, “Hey, Barbi,  look!” She pointed down at the top of my head. Barbi just said “Hi,” to me but the look on her face said, “Oh shit! That’s not one of those Make-a-Wish kids , is it? Why didn’t anybody warn me about this? They’re supposed to clear this kind of thing through my publicist! This is an ambush! Wait til I see that publicist of mine! I’ll wring his neck!”

I said “Hi” back to Barbi. I don’t know what kind of look I had on my face, but here’s what I was thinking: “Oh shit! She thinks I’m a Make-a-Wish kid! I gotta get the hell out of here!”

So I spun my wheelchair around and got the hell out of there.

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