Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Cripples as Good Luck Charms

 I never wanted to be one of those mascot cripples.

You know what those are. They hang around some kind of team, usually a sports team. And the players and coaches let them hang around like they’re part of the team except they’re not really part of the team. The coach would never put them in a real game because, well, they're not athletes. If a coach puts a cripple in a real game that cripple would probably get killed and that would be a public relations nightmare.

I always thought that mascot cripples sent a bad message about being crippled to verts (which is what I call people who walk because it’s short for vertical). But I wasn’t exactly sure what that bad message was. Maybe the problem was that mascot cripples were supposed to “inspire” the players by reminding them that they should be grateful that they’re not crippled.

But I felt like there must be more to it than that so I looked up the word mascot in the dictionary and it said, “A person, animal, or object adopted by a group as a symbolic figure especially to bring them good luck.

I think it was the good luck part that never sat well with me. Because sometimes verts see cripples as a good luck charm, like a rabbit's foot. I don’t know what sort of good luck we’re supposed to bring. Maybe it all goes back to that stuff about us making them feel lucky that they’re not crippled.

Whatever it is, I don’t want anybody rubbing my head for good luck.

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