Those personal injury
attorneys are sort of like Make-a-wish for adults.
They’ve got good news and
bad news. The good news is that they can make you a millionaire beyond your
wildest dreams. The bad news is that in order to qualify for that, you have to
have been in a terrible accident.
Make-a wish works the same
way. They can arrange for a kid to spend an afternoon hanging out with Beyonce.
But in order to qualify for that, that kid has to have cancer or something
similarly terrible. Healthy kids need not apply.
And some kids with cancer
need not apply either. If you’re a kid with cancer that still somehow manages
to have a can-do attitude and an upbeat spirit, you’ll probably make the cut
because you’ll make Beyoncé feel inspired with your attitude. But if you’re all
bummed out and depressed about having cancer, you probably won’t make the cut
because you might make Beyonce feel bummed out and depressed, too. And that
would ruin everything.
When I see stories on the
television about Make-a-Wish kids running around with their favorite pop
culture heroes, I wonder how that kid’s siblings feel about it all as they watch from the background. On the one
hand, the siblings probably have to feel at least a little bit jealous that no
one’s gushing all over them. But on the other hand, they probably have to feel
at least a little bit relieved when they realize that the reason no one’s
paying attention to them is because they don’t have cancer.
Because that’s how I feel
when I see commercials for those personal injury attorneys. On the one hand, I
think about how cool it would be to be a millionaire beyond my wildest dreams.
But on the other hand, when I think about what needs to happen in order to make
that happen, I don’t feel like running out and getting hit by a bus.
I say to myself, “That’s all
right. I’m good.”
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