Thursday, April 27, 2023

Of Predators and Prey


There’s one thing that seems to make humans unique from other species of animals. As far as I can tell, humans are the only animals that switch sides and join up with their predators so as to try to convince them to change their ways.

Like for instance, you don’t see a hen hanging out with foxes, just so the foxes won’t fuck with them.

But humans do that kind of stuff all the time. Just take a look at the republican party. There are the Log Cabin Republicans, who are gay. They think republicanism is great, except for that homophobic stuff

And there are a few black republicans, too. They think republicanism is great, except for that racist stuff.

There are Joe Worker republicans who seem to think that the republican party is on their side.

 Well you can’t have it both ways. If you scoop all the homophobia and racism and screwing over working people out of republicanism, there isn’t much left. It’s just as silly as if the hens hung around with the foxes, hoping they could convince foxes not to eat hens anymore. It ain’t gonna happen.

If the foxes did allow hens to mingle among their ranks, they would probably use them as unwitting decoys. to lure in their fellow hens. Their job would be to convince the other hens that the foxes aren’t such bad guys after all. Once you get to know them, you'll see that the foxes really do have the best interests of hens at heart. And once enough hens flew the coop and came on over to the other side, the foxes would gobble them up. That’s what being a fox is all about.

It works the same way with the republicans. As soon as enough gay and black  Joe Worker republicans convince enough of their own kind to come on over because this is the place to be, the republicans will gobble them up. That’s what republicanism is all about.

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Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Down Syndrome Reveal Party

 These days you can know what gender your future child will be before it is even born. And so some people throw one of those silly gender reveal parties, where they tell all the invited guests whether the fetus is a boy or a girl. But the information is delivered with great fanfare. Dozens of pink or blue balloons might be released into the air. Or maybe a plane might fly overhead pulling a banner that says IT’S A BOY or IT’S A GIRL. There might even be fireworks involved somehow.

You can even purchase items for gender reveal parties.  For instance, there are gender reveal smoke bombs and confetti cannons.

These days you can also find out a lot of other things about your future child before it is even born besides gender. You can find out whether or not it will be crippled and if so how. You can find out if the kid will be crippled for the same reason I am. And when that happens, people don’t start thinking about having festive events to celebrate their fetus. People instead start thinking about aborting the damn thing.

That’s how a lot of fetuses that will eventually become people with Down Syndrome get aborted. I don’t think there ever has been such a thing as a Down Syndrome reveal party. No, the best a fetus like that can hope for is that the mom will quietly continue with the pregnancy.

Throwing a Down Syndrome reveal party would be considered by polite society to be tastelessly disrespectful. The proper etiquette for an occasion like this would be to have a somber event that’s more like a funeral. Everybody shows up and offers their condolences. No confetti cannons or  fireworks or anything like that. That could be seen as making light of tragedy. If there are any theatrics at all, it might be releasing black balloons into the air.

Giving birth to a regular, standard-issue baby is looked upon as one of those joyous occasions in life that's worthy of high celebration. But giving birth to a crippled baby is something else altogether.

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Tuesday, April 11, 2023

Poppy Day


 We don’t seem to have Poppy Day around here anymore.

When I was a kid, it seemed like Poppy Day happened at least once a year, if not several times a year. I knew it was Poppy Day if I was out riding around in a car because whenever we’d get stopped by a red light people would walk out into the intersection with slotted cans in one hand and red flowers in the other. They’d come up to car windows shaking the cans so that the people inside the car could hear the coins in the can clanging around and if someone rolled down the window and dropped a few more coins in the can they’d receive one of the red flowers as a token of appreciation.

My mother always enthusiastically rolled down her window and dropped coins in the cans on Poppy Day. And she’d display her poppy by tying its stem to the rearview mirror. I noticed that the poppy wasn’t even real. It was made of cloth. So I asked my mother why she was so eager to buy and so proud to display a fake flower. She explained that the poppy was a symbol of something of far greater importance. When she purchased a poppy, she was helping the handicapped because the poppies were made by handicapped people.

I also noticed that right around Poppy Day a lot of people had cloth poppies hanging from their rearview mirrors. So, I guess displaying a poppy had the added benefit of showing everyone that you help the handicapped.

I think it’s a good thing that they don’t have Poppy Days anymore. It shows that cripples have bigger and better things going on than making cloth flowers. But sometimes even today when I’m waiting for a red light I get solicited to give money for cripples. But it’s the cripples themselves that approach my car, not their surrogates. These cripples shake canisters full of coins. But the canisters are usually more makeshift, like used cups from fast food restaurants. And if I give them coins, they just say thanks and move on to the next car. They don’t give me a poppy or anything.

Without a poppy to display. how is everyone going to know that I help the handicapped?

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