Cute and Cuddly Criplets

I see this television commercial during the Christmas season every year where a bunch of criplets tell everybody who’s watching that the best present they could give them is to make a donation to the hospital that I guessed they all go to for therapy and surgery and such. When I see this commercial, I feel like shouting out to those criplets, “Hey you criplets! Speak for yourselves!” I’m not a criplet but I used to be one. I’m not sure at what age you lose that status but I believe that it’s around whatever age you hit puberty. Because when you have body hair and a deep voic, too many people in the uncrippled majority have a hard time seeing you as legitimately crippled Adult cripples are sad. It’s true that criplets are sad, too. But at least criplets have something going for them in that they are cute and cuddly as well. But when you have a deep voice and body hair, you’re not so cute and cuddly anymore. You’re just sad. But when I was about the age of those criplets on television, I was an inmate at a state owned and operated boarding school for cripples that I call the Sam Houston Institute of Technology (SHIT). And if someone would have asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I sure as hell wouldn’t have told them to just make a donation to the place. I probably would have told them that I wanted a football or something like that. Because I remember that time when I was a criplet and somebody gave me a plastic wiffle football and a plastic kicking tee. I thought it was the coolest gift anybody ever received. That’s why I feel such a strong urge to tell those criplets in that television commercial to mind their own damn business. They’re robbing their fellow criplets of the little bit of agency that they have. Suppose that they want to use their cuteness and cuddliness to try to finagle a football out of somebody? Everybody’ll think that they’re being selfish little bastards. (Please support Smart Ass Cripple and help us keep going. Just click below to contribute.) https://www.paypal.me/smartasscripple?fbclid=IwAR2qrql-UFH19OepgeaCG4WmblyNylb27k2q8eYxXHH

Ryan's What?

It’s important to remember that the A in AI stands for Artificial. It could also stand for Approximate when you’re talking about deaf people, I imagine. Because deaf people have been dealing with AI for some time now and it’s probably left them wondering what the hell is wrong with all of us crazy hearing people. Take, for instance, the kind of captioning that converts speech into text. I assume that that's a form of AI. But any human that did as poor of a job as that thing sometimes does would be fired. I saw a video tape of part of a play that I wrote that was performed recently. The video was captioned so that deaf people could understand what was being said. They must have used some glitchy thingamajig that converts voice to text to make the captions because, according to the captioning, one of my characters suddenly said to the others, "Are you gay?” I don’t know what line I actually wrote for her to say, but it sure as hell wasn’t, “Are you gay?” But I don’t blame any deaf person who sees that video if they wonder what the hell is wrong with me. And there was that time when I was watching a baseball game on television and one of those analysis shows came on after. I had the captioning on because I don’t know how to shut it off. One of the hosts was a former player whose name is Ryan Sweeney. And the captioning said that his name was Ryan’s Weenie. And I don’t blame any deaf person who saw that video if they wondered what the hell was wrong with that guy’s parents. But that’s how AI is. Like I said, it stands for Artificial Intelligence, which means it is an oxymoron. It cannot deduce or apply logic. It repeats what it thought it heard a human say. (Please support Smart Ass Cripple and help us keep going. Just click below to contribute.) https://www.paypal.me/smartasscripple?fbclid=IwAR2qrql-UFH19OepgeaCG4WmblyNylb27k2q8eYxXHH