Sunday, July 9, 2023

Getting Good and Blasted on a Cripple Field Trip


The sessions of Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Summer Camp were one week long. The YMCA campgrounds where the sessions were held wasn’t far away from a shopping mall.

So one year the people who organized the cripple activities at the camp decided to arrange a Wednesday field trip to the shopping mall. At first only the crippled older women went. The guys my age were too cool to go on a crippled old lady’s field trip like that.

But by the second or third year we all signed up to go. In fact, just about the whole camp emptied out as everyone boarded one of the cripple buses and went to the shopping mall. That’s because word got around that there was a bar in the shopping mall called Beer & Brat. And so everyone except the crippled old ladies who enjoyed going to the stores went straight to Beer & Brat and spent the afternoon getting good and blasted. Apparently Beer & Brat didn’t card us very hard because I don’t think a lot of us were quite old enough to get good and blasted legally.

At Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Summer Camp, every cripple had to be accompanied at all times by our specially assigned vert (which is what I call people who walk because it’s short for vertical). And so many of the verts that were with us also got good and blasted. I remember one of them climbing on top of the juke box and mooning everybody.

I wonder what the owners of Beer & Brat made of the annual cripple invasion. They were probably at least a little freaked out because getting a bunch of cripples good and blasted surely had to be against the law or something, right? But they should’ve been happy as hell to see us packing the place because no doubt they made a shitload of money off of us. And on a Wednesday to boot!

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