Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010. Welcome to the official site for bitter cripples (and those who love them). Smart Ass Cripple has been voted World's Biggest Smart Ass by J.D. Power and Associates.
Thursday, October 29, 2026
Sometimes I'm Glad I'm Not a Vert
I often tell myself that I’m glad I’m not a vert ( which is what I call people who walk because it’s short for vertical.) And I feel real smug about it, too.
I tell that to myself a few times a year, whenever I twist an ankle or even just stub a toe, I think about how if I was a vert this little injury could lay me up for weeks because it might hurt too much for me to walk on it. But since I am not a vert, I don’t have to worry about things like being able to walk. And so I know that all I have to do is put my poor little sore foot up on the footrest of my wheelchair and away I go.
But the feeling of victorious smugness doesn’t last for very long because I start to think about why I twist my ankle or stub my toe so much. And I realize that this usually happens because I accidentally slammed my motorized wheelchair into a wall or something similarly immovable. When that happens, my ankles and toes usually take the brunt of the blow. So if I didn’t go everywhere in motorized wheelchair all of the time, I might not have gotten hurt in the first place
And then I find myself wishing that I was a vert. And I don't feel so smug anymore.
I think that I shouldn’t think so much. When I feel smug, l should just enjoy it.
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