The Triple Whammy

It used to be that if you wanted to corner the market on public sympathy, all that you had to do was be a cripple. Yes, my children, there once was a time when behemoth telethons heavily populated the television waves and raised money to help certain charities fulfill their mission of serving sad little cripples. But somewhere along the line, people became more cynical and being merely crippled wasn’t good enough to tug on their heartstrings in just the right way anymore. Or maybe it was another effect of inflation. Before people were going to call the number on their television screen to make a financial pledge, they had to be assured that they would be getting the biggest bang for their buck. So someone came up with a double whammy, like disabled veterans. And if you called this number on your television screen, your pledge will serve both cripples and veterans.You get two for the price of one! And disabled veterans were the worthiest of cripples because they became crippled while defending our freedom! Us regular cripples didn’t have a chance competing against them in the sympathy game. And then along came the triple whammy. There’s a liquor store that I frequent often and it has a sign that informs all who enter that for every purchase they make, the company that owns and operates the store will make a donation to a charity that trains dogs to be service animals for disabled veterans. So in this case, you get three for the price of one! Your donation helps out cripples, veterans and dogs. Us regular cripples don’t have a chance competing against them in the sympathy game. (Please support Smart Ass Cripple and help us keep going. Just click below to contribute.) https://www.paypal.me/smartasscripple?fbclid=IwAR2qrql-UFH19OepgeaCG4WmblyNylb27k2q8eYxXHH